I was face-timing my mother the week before last, and during our conversation I was rattling off the list of organizations and events that I had planned, and seminars that I was attending. Suddenly she cuts my speech off swiftly with the most ridiculous phrase that has ever come out her mouth. "Uh huh, yeah that's great but how is that helping me get to know my future son-in-law?" She then continues on to say, "With all of the activities that you are in, are you making time to date anyone?" These two phrases have stuck with me since then, I am very traditional in the sense that I wanted to come to college, get a degree in English, but to also get the Mrs. degree as well. However as the years have gone by and the relationships that I have entered have ended in total and complete disaster I have found it alot easier to focus all of my attention on school and working, these are things that I can control and things that I am good at. However I noticed although I have become successful in these two aspects of life, I am not as happy as the girls around me who are able to handle school, working, and relationships. I keep thinking to myself how in the world are they balancing ALL THREE. School takes concentration, extra circulars can be time-consuming and to even think about adding a boyfriend to the mix seems exhausting. I also noticed that for women we seem to get pressured alot sooner in life to "settle". Of course we are encouraged to get good jobs and pursue higher degrees but there is also that ever persistent nagging to be "on the lookout" for your future husband and those annoying and slightly horrifying "how many children do you want?" question. Like, whoa! I have only been 20 for three months! What's the rush?! This has nothing to do with my profession I know, but it has everything to do with basic time-management and general life problems. Am I the only one who finds this to be a problem? Is anyone else being hounded about their love lives by family members? Who is in a successful relationship and can give time-management tips. This is a subject that every girl and her friends discuss, but from one future professional to the next, I would like to know your experiences.
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I went to a women's college, so many of my family members were worried that I would never find a man. I wasn't paying thousands of dollars in tuition, however, to meet guys. Actually, my father would go from "how will you find someone?" when I wasn't dating to "is he distracting you from your studies?" when I was -- go figure. I didn't meet The One in college, but several of my friends did. Some married their high school sweethearts. Some found husbands in graduate or law school or at their first jobs when they were 25.
ReplyDeleteWhy wouldn't your perfect match attend the same campus events? Join the same clubs? Work at a similar job? Take the same classes? If you're getting up in the morning and walking around where there are guys, you could be meeting your parents' future son-in-law, right?